Emotional Competence – Gabor Mat’e

Here is a great exert from Gabor Mat’e’s Book – When the Body Says No.  Its all about tuning into our bodies and listening to its wisdom.  Of course within this is connecting with our needs met or unmet and understanding that true healing happens in this place.

First we must build our Emotional Competence.  Gabor writes

Emotional Competence Requires

  • the capacity to feel our emotions, so that we are aware when we are experiencing stress;
  • the ability to express our emotions effectively and thereby to assert our needs and to maintain the integrity of our emotional boundaries;
  • the facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent residue from the past.  What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood.  If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or threat of loss when none exists; and
  • the awareness of those genuine needs that do require satisfaction, rather than their repression for the sake of gaining the acceptance or approval of others.

Some words to ponder.